The Anti-Valentines Day Blogfest

Today's post is sponsored by Beth Fred.

The Anti-Valentine's Day Blogfest
Feb. 15 Post your worst Valentines Day or worst date story–don’t have one? Lucky you! Not only have you never wasted precious hours of your life but you get a chance to write fiction. Make one up!!!

Okay, I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not this is true.

When I was in HS, I got set up on a date. It's a little unfortunate, since I can't remember his name, but let's call him Kurt. Kurt and I talked on the phone a couple of times planning the evening. We decided to meet at the mall on the south side of the city—a mall 35 minutes from my house. We would meet outside of the food court, and then leave from there to go to dinner. Kurt wanted to go to this great place for dinner that I'd never heard of, an Italian place with tasty breadsticks. Then we'd go see a movie. Seems like a pretty reasonable date, no?

So, we meet at the mall. First impression: lack of understanding of a washing machine. Holey, threadbare flannel shirt over a stained white T-shirt and wrinkled jeans. And I'm not positive he had showered recently, but I might be projecting that in my memory. Not particularly someone who cares about their first impression, though, that's for sure.

We agreed to leave one car at the mall and take the other one to dinner and then to the movie, and he insisted—being the man (this is important, I promise)—that he should drive. That was fine by me, because it was cold and beginning to snow, and my old 1967 Dodge Dart didn't have the most functional heating system. So we went to his car. It was a mess inside, with old, empty fast food cups, papers, blankets, and general dirty crap. He had to spend a moment cleaning off the passenger seat before I could get inside... after he had suggested that he drive.

Notice, we haven't even gotten to the real date yet.

So he takes me to the amazing Italian restaurant with fantastic breaksticks: *drumroll* Fazoli's. It was new to the area, and I had never heard of it before. I had been expecting table clothes and candles and nice food, not a counter where you order and then sitting while they appease you with breadsticks until the food comes. This, to me, is not a date spot. Sorry, but it's NOT. And while we're waiting in line to order he says to me, "Oh, and we're going Dutch, right?" My thought, "Wait, you want to be the man and drive your shitty car, but you don't want to be the man and pay for my cheap meal at this fast food place that's a perfect date spot?"

And I already knew this couldn't go well. Duh!

While we ate, it started snowing rather heavily. I suggested that maybe we skip the movie (no, I swear, I had NO ulterior motives), but he insisted that it wasn't that bad. Even as he drove at 20 MPH from the restaurant to the movie theater, he insisted we see the movie. But then we had a good 40 minutes at the theater to wait until we could ENTER the movie theater, and what did I do? Watch the blizzard roll in. I told him in no uncertain terms that I needed to go since I lived so far away and I needed a while to get home on the freeway, and he refused because we'd already paid for the tickets. I offered to pay for his, and he turned me down. So we watched the movie—luckily I don't remember what it was, but I do sincerely remember hating it, something along the lines of Scream 7052 or so.

How many ways can I use this picture??

Then he drove me back to the mall and seemed surprised when I dashed through the snow to my car without a kiss goodnight. Did I mention he was kinda gross? Even if he'd been the nicest, most cavalier gentleman EVER—which he wasn't, Mr. "Wait Until The Last Minute To Suggest Going Dutch"—I still wouldn't have kissed him because he was GROSS.

It took well over an hour to get home through the snow, more than twice the time it took me to get there. I got home, got in bed, started to pass out from sheer exhaustion from the crazy lack of sense of my evening, and the phone RANG! He called—even though I had told him he could never call after 9:30 because my mother went to bed early, and it was sometime between 1:30AM and 2—to be sure I got home okay. Then he decided to rehash all the positive parts of the date.

Okay, I'll give him this: he seemed concerned. But I was so tired and so annoyed and so at the end of my fuse, I hung up on him. And then I got in trouble the next day because the phone had rung so late. And then I screened all of my phone calls for months and avoided his number.

So that's the worst date of my whole life. I don't have much else that even compares, but I'll have to save it for the next anti-valentine's day :)

Any bad date stories out there that you'd like to share?

Voice Redux

BLOGFEST ANNOUNCEMENT:

In an effort to promote the HONE YOUR SKILLS Blogfest, Charity and I will be hosting a few different guest posts over the month. Be sure to drop by this Friday for a post from Theresa Milstein, and next week from Hart Johnson.

* * * *

On Thursday, I had a frustrated/frustrating moment, when I revealed to you all my sheer inability to convey voice in 3rd person limited (although I wrote "omniscient", as my frustration overwhelmed the synapses between the cells in my brain).

You were all awesomely supportive, and I thank you all for your thoughts. Through the various comments and thoughts, I realized a few things that might help in developing a 3rd person limited voice. And, well, it would be highly unfair of me to keep it to myself....

So a 3rd person limited narrator whose voice is true both to the personality of the character as well as the narrator itself. I can't tell you which voice is easier to come by, but if you feel like you have a strong voice on your blog—not sure why this never sunk in with me before—then you've got a good start.

Synthesizing your voice with the character's voice is the next step. In order to do this, you need to have a good sense of the character's voice. A good way to do this is to write a few scenes in 1st person, even if those scenes will never see the light of day.

Of course, creating the actual synthesis is another task. Unfortunately it's not one I've had a chance to try my hand at since Thursday (I promise—you don't want to hear about how much work-life exploded into 80-90hr weeks). However, a few good examples:

• Harry Potter: JK Rowling follows Harry through seven years, and the voice is true throughout each book. 
• The Hating Game by Talli Roland. I can't begin to tell you how impressed I am with her skills with voice. I'm barely finding time to sneak in a few minutes with my Kindle App, but I can't wait to read it again. So far, the narrator has been close to three characters. With each character, the voice of the narration adjusts to personality of each character, but the narrator's voice is always there, too.

Does any of that make sense, or is it still too hypothetical?

What books have you read with great 3rd limited voice?

Voice

Yes, I already hear you groaning. Don't worry. I'm groaning, too.

It is the most unexplainable je-ne-sais-quois crucial ingredient to a book getting picked up by an agent or publisher, of a short story getting sold to a journal, or creating a compelling read in general. Yet no one can explain it. You've either got it, or you don't.

*more groaning*

Okay, fine. I'll concede that it's either there or it's not. But there are different ways to develop voice. It does exist, and we all have it, but we have to find a way to get it out there.

Let's start with the 1st person voice. I think it's easier—for me—to accomplish a compelling voice in first person. I imagine the narrator as an actual person, which is far from daunting since the narrator is also a character with a backstory and a personality. In other words, s/he has a voice of her/his own, and this comes out in the narration.

When I started writing again, most of what I wrote was in 1st person. Perhaps this was the path of least resistance—and may also be the reason why writing instructors prefer 3rd person—but it worked, sort of. Maybe the voice wasn't great (trust me, it really wasn't), maybe it was inconsistent, but it was there sometimes. And with some work, I could bring it out more and more.

Here's the problem: I recently decided, for various reasons, that one particular novel should be in 3rd person instead of 1st. I need to be able to track more than just the MC through her travels. (I could, potentially, have two 1st person narrators, though I'm not sure how I feel about that.) So I chose to try my hand at 3rd person and rewrite.

And the voice................. disappeared.

Me--------------->









So my question(s): If a 1st person narrator's voice can be developed through the character his/herself, how does one develop a compelling 3rd person omniscient narrator? These narrators are amorphous, misty creatures, based solely off a voice that comes from the nether-regions of our imaginations. But who ARE they? Are they characters? My HS English teacher would say "yes". How do you define them? How do you create them in such a way to give them that je-ne-sais-quois factor, which is in and of itself amorphous and particularly misty?

I'm clearly missing something, but creating an amorphous, misty narrator with an amorphous, misty, je-ne-sais-quois voice seems... well, nothing is impossible or we'd only ever read 1st person literature.

What am I missing, folks? Please help me uncover the secrets to a compelling, 3rd person voice.

Hone Your Skills Blogfest! (Come Sign Up)

Today is a special day. Charity Bradford at My Writing Journey and I have pooled our resources for a spectacular event.

In an effort to both push ourselves and support each other in the blogging community, Charity and I have decided to co-host the HONE YOUR SKILLS BLOGFEST.

The whole idea behind this blogfest is to improve our own writing skills by attempting a hone the story and the prose down to the basics while still being compelling. Not an easy task, to be sure. Check out this post from Charity for more discussion.

But we also need to remember that we do not write in a vacuum, and we cannot improve alone. We want help, but we also want and need to help each other. This is an INTERACTIVE blogfest in which we can share our own skills to help each other.

Here's the idea:

1. On March 16, post a short story around 750 words, no more than 1000, in any genre you like.
2. Read and give a critique for the person before and after you in the Linky List (and as many others as you can/want to). When you critique: a) find at least two things that really work, and b) at least two suggestions for how it can be tightened or improved.  
3. (Optional) When you post on March 16, list one or two (online) journals where you plan to submit your piece after making revisions.

Charity and I, as hosts, will make it to everyone's post. She and I will also pick what we believe to be the TOP FIVE short stories. We will announce our top five the following Monday (March 21), and allow you to vote for your favorites. The winner will receive a $20 Amazon gift card.

Here are a few places to start looking for online journals.

• Write 1 Sub 1's Short Fiction Markets/Contests page
• See the sidebar on Charity's blog (down a bit) for SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America) Qualifying markets
• Estrella05azul has some online and print publications in her far right column
• Duotrope's Digest allows you to search publications by genre and story length

Are you ready? Are you excited? Sign up below! We're looking forward to your latest short story :)

Making Ourselves Better Writers

Charity over at My Writing Journey had a fantastic post on Wednesday on tops to improve your writing in a post-NaNo life. She recommended using short story writing as a way to hone one's skills to become better a novelist.

It got me to thinking about my own writing and my inability to pack a story into fewer than 50K. Short stories have never come easily to me. I think it terms of macro plots with never ending twists and turns. Nothing in my brain is ever compact enough to fit into the short story model. Just ask my fiction instructor from last semester. My second story came back with a note to the effect of: "This is great. Too bad it's a novel in a short story's body."

Well, if nothing else, I have another novel idea on deck if I need it.

Anyway, I think I'm going to try my hand at short fiction again. We'll see how it goes.

What do you do to try and make yourself a better writer?

Then again, Charity's post got me thinking about a few other things, too. But you'll have to wait to find out what that's all about.

Tune in Monday for a Special Announcement :)

Bernard Pivot Blogfest

I'm excited to join another blogfest, this one to hit the cyberwaves in two weeks.

The Bernard Pivot Blogfest is hosted by Nicole Ducleroir of One Significant Moment at a Time, who is celebrating 500+ followers. Participating in the contest also automatically signs you up for some awesome prizes (still TBA).

Bernard Pivot, a French journalist, created the following questionnaire for a cultural series he hosted from 1991-2001. Here are the questions:

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
4. What turns you off?
5. What is your favorite curse word?
6. What sound or noise do you love?
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

So, on February 16, all who are participating will answer the questions, so we can all get to know each other a little better. Come and join the fun by clicking on the image to the right.

Happiness is a Warm Draft

For some reason the original Beatles song is running through my head. I felt compelled.

This will be short for many reasons, the biggest of which is I'm running late and don't have much time, but I wanted to be sure to post today.

First, Nathan Bransford will be posting the finalists for his Stupendously Ultimate First Paragraph Challenge sometime today. Hop over to his blog to read and vote for the finalists.

[poor segue]

So I mentioned last week that I have gone back to revising my first WIP. I realized I had to completely change the backstory to make the present story more believable. Well, in the process, my brain has been ON FIRE, creating this trajectory for my MCs. So much fun!

This morning, in my half-awake-half-asleep, please-don't-bother-me-because-the-sun's-not-up-yet state, I was plotting out a scene in a park with my four main characters. Now bear in mind that, in my original draft, the story is told in 1st person. Well, my imagination took me to a place where my supporting male character separated from the rest of the group—or security reasons, of course—and my mind followed him. The scene evolved, and not only did I like it, but I realized it might be rather crucial.

Thus, a new draft was born (I believe this one is marked number 592, give or take a few hundred). I started working on it yesterday morning, and wrote over 1000 words yesterday in time that I didn't have to be working on it. But when the fire is lit, it's hard to contain, no?

So, in the spirit of Nathan Bransford's Stupendously Ultimate First Paragraph Challenge, I give to you my new and latest first paragraph.

Title: The Monarchy's Lies #592 (title subject to change, since I don't like it anymore)

Genre: YA Romance/Urban Fantasy

Anabelle Lindsky tugged at the collar of her shirt. She’d never felt comfortable with things around her neck—turtleneck sweaters, tight necklaces, even her fingers to check her pulse—but today was different. Today she would endure anything to get to the Mansion.

And, folks, I promise I'll get off my editing/revising kick soon. I'm just so excited about how this is going for me that I need to share. Thanks for reading. :)

What person do you normally use to narrate? 1st/2nd/3rd? Do you jump back and forth? Do you just know which will work best? How do you decide? Have you ever written something completely, and then started over in another POV?