Welcome to my self-indulgent location for the stories (good and bad) that I can't prevent myself from writing. All comments and criticisms welcome. I post on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Excuses, Excuses

****Warning**** This is not a happy post.  I will not be offended if you stop here.

Before I write anything else, I want to say that today is my friend Jim's birthday.  Jim passed away two years ago from Leukemia just before he turned thirty. If you have a chance, drink a beer for Jim today.

The past few weeks have been particularly difficult for me. 

First, my campus job is the managing editor of a linguistics journal.  I used to love my job when I first got it, and nothing could have been better than the university (read: my boss/adviser) changing it from an hourly position into a GA position so that I didn't have to teach.  Rock!  And I'm still indebted to him for making it possible.  I just don't love the job anymore.

Which meant that, even though I knew the deadline for the journal to go to print would be this coming Friday, I did nothing with it over the summer.  So, September turned into super catch-up month in terms of publication preparation.  That was the first reason for my falling into the bloggy black hole.

Second, the beginning of October is a rough time for me.  Two years ago, my dad died on the first, and then my birthday is shortly afterward.  The year my dad passed away, we actually had to put off the viewing and the funeral so that neither would fall on my birthday.  It made for a rather awkward series of events.  Since then, I haven't really wanted to celebrate my birthday.  It's too clouded by shadowy memories of a false attempt at celebrating that first year, as well as issues with my dad.

I was so wrapped up my work in September that I almost forgot about the anniversary.  Of course, that meant that I had two major things due on that date, one of which I had volunteered for.  Dumb.

It's been a slow recovery for me this year, especially with Facebook and people wishing me a happy birthday when I just want to forget it.  A friend of mine asked why I don't just take my birthday off of there. Honestly, I may have done that last year, but this year I completely forgot.  I should just take it off permanently. The problem is that everyone else can separate the good from the bad—or simply don't know—but I can't.

Anyway, it's been slow, and I've been catching up with one thing at a time.  First I caught up with the journal, then there's the continuous school-work catch-up, then my critique group, and now I'm getting back to blogging.  I'm going to try and be more on top of visiting you all—in cycles, unfortunately—but I think I've dug myself out of wherever I have been for the past few weeks. 

Thanks for your patience, folks.


Jules said...

You just hang in there. Here is a cyber HUG for you :)

I'll have dry martini as you requested :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Boonie S said...

Things will get better - probably - although I could be wrong....
Take care.

All the best, Boonie

Anonymous said...

Everyone deals with loss in their own way, and you've had a lot in a short time period :( ... you'll find a balance between remembering and celebrating eventually, but it takes a lot of time. And I think writing about it is a great idea :) And that you're pretty brave for expressing your feelings!

Sending good karma your way (or at least trying to :p). Take care.

Hart Johnson said...

Rosie-that is really hard--I know some of those anniversaries can be really hard to get through, especially at first.

Maybe this year start a tradition of a positive memorial for your dad on his biRTHDAY so your emotional energy for him is more distributed and less tangled in the sad stuff. It's been an awful lot of years since my dad died, but it really does seem like the years I make an outward acknowledgement on his birthday, the day of his death ends up consuming a little less of my emotional reserve.

Welcome back! You've been missed!

Carol Riggs said...

A tremendous uber-cyber-hug to ya. I'm glad you mentioned all this--you're a very open and sharing person, and I think this is what helps make you a good writer. It sounds like you're making progress on working through this busy, difficult time; best of luck with your deadline!

Summer Ross said...

((BIG HUG)) thats alot to happen, and I'm sure has not been good on your stress level. Don't worry- you will get back to normal- I have faith in you- and I wont judge if blogging is what goes out the window for a while- it happens- life takes over the rest just sits waiting for you to come back- and I'll be here when you do- unless life takes me over LOL but really, Do what you need to do...I truly hope things start going abit better.

RosieC said...

Thanks, everyone, for your hugs and support. I'm working through it well enough for now. It's definitely nice knowing you guys are out there for some cyber hugs! :)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Sometimes just having a place to "say" how you feel out loud helps. October is almost half over. You can get through this month...November will be here soon. ((hug))

Related Posts with Thumbnails